


Who Am I?

by Wing1020



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, F/F, others will be added as we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 03:57:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wing1020/pseuds/Wing1020
Summary: Wanda has always heard voices in her head. After joining Ultron it only got worse. Her head starts hurting more and feels like something bad is going to happen.





	Who Am I?

**Author's Note:**

> 𝑰𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄 𝒃𝒐𝒍𝒅: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂'𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅  
𝐼𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑐: 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑎'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠  
So basically this is my AU so not everything is going to be exactly like the movie but I'll try my best to keep it close. (I'll try!)

_ **Disgusting.** _

_ ** Look at you.** _

_ ** No one wants to get close with a monster. ** _

Wanda held her head in her hands as she listened to the voices in her head. There were wisps of red chaos magic swirling around her as she sat in her bed. It was dark out. Wanda didn’t know what time it was but she was sure that it wasn’t a good time to be awake.

_ **Look at her. ** _

_ **Trying so hard to get rid of us. ** _

_ **We’re going to be with you forever.** _

Wanda started to rock back and forth. She tried to stop listening to the voices but they never went away. Before the experiments the voices were there but she could ignore them. Now they were stronger than ever. Whenever she would get into someone’s mind, she would get their nightmares as well. This allowed the voices in her head to become common as time went on.

Ever since she joined the Avengers, she would feel the voices buzzing around her head. She had to act like she was fine though, after all she was the youngest of the 7 of them. No need to add being crazy to it. At this point she might as well start talking back to them.

“Stop, leave me alone”

** _Why? We’re the only ones who actually pay attention to you._ **

“No, I have the team. They accepted me into the group”

_ **Don’t lie to yourself. They felt bad for you. They probably got you to join just to keep an eye on you. ** _

“No Clint, Steve and Thor were nice”

_ **How stupid can you get? Thor isn’t from this world so he won’t be around much. Steve has to because he’s Captain America. And Clint feels bad that your brother died protecting him so he’s obviously going to help you.** _

Wanda began shaking while rocking and opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. She tried to lay down and go back to sleep but her head was hurting. Wanda doesn’t know how long she was awake for but she fell asleep holding her hands to her ears in hopes of stopping the voices.

~~~~~

“-nda. Psst. Kid wake up”

Wanda opened her eyes quick. Too quick in fact that her eyes started to water because of the sun’s rays coming through the window on her left. She sat up and rubbed her eyes trying to wipe off the tired feeling. Turning her head to the right she saw Clint standing on the side of her bed smiling at her. It made her smile a little. It’s been 2 months since Ultron and Clint is still nice to her. She really hopes that he actually cares about her and not because of her brother. Her mind said another thing though.

“It’s about time you woke up. Breakfast was served minutes ago”

Wanda grabbed her phone off the desk next to her bed and checked the time. It’s 9:32am. That means I only got 3 hours of sleep…great. She looked up at Clint and saw him patiently waiting for her answer.

“I- I’m not hungry, but thank you for waking me up” Wanda gave him a smile hoping he wouldn’t question her.

“Why not? Are you feeling well?”

Wanda could sense the worry coming off him in waves. In a way this made her happy. Not because she wanted him to worry but the fact that he cared enough to worry about her.

_ **Ugh you’re disgusting.** _

“Sorry Clint but I’m just not at the moment”

“The day just started; you need something to fuel you up”

Wanda didn’t know what else to say to make the man in front of her leave. Clint was looking at her with hope in his eyes. It reminded her of Pietro. When he would beg at her, she couldn’t resist most of the time, without saying a word. Wanda sighed.

“Alright I’ll guess eat”

“Steve is making pancakes”

“Let me get chang-“

“No just go like that, by the time you’re done changing Sam would’ve finished everything”

Clint grabbed Wanda on the wrist and dragged her out of her room and into the kitchen. There she saw Steve at the stove making pancakes and Sam eating them at the counter. Steve turned around and smiled at Wanda.

“I was starting to get worried that you wouldn’t come out to eat”

Wanda sat at the table and waited for Steve to make more. Clint and Sam started to talk about a mission they had been on recently. She tuned them out to watch Steve. A few minutes went by and Steve set a stack of pancakes in front of her. As she was about to eat she realized it was just them.

“Where’s everybody else?”

Steve looked up from the stove and answered, “ Tony is in his lab like usual , thor is in Asgard and Nat’s doing her morning run. I don’t know about Bruce though he’s probably with Tony”

Wanda nodded and got back to her pancakes.

_ **She reminds me of a pig ** _

Wanda stopped midway in putting a piece of pancake in her mouth.

_ **You’re right. I think she needs to lose some weight. ** _

She shook her head before going back to eating. Halfway through her first pancake they started speaking again.

Look at her go, eating like she’s never eaten before in her life.

The food is still going to be there no need to gobble it up, you might die.

You know keep eating like that so you could finally choke and stop bothering those around you.

Wanda sat there and just played around her food for a bit. When she looked up Clint and Sam were gone. _Probably off to training._ It was only her and Steve left. Steve was getting his smoothie out and stood in front of the door ready to leave.

“Hey Wanda can you tell Natasha I made her a batch of pancakes as well, she should be getting back in a few seconds”

Wanda nodded and went back to playing with her food. After Steve left, she was alone with her thoughts again.

_ **Why can’t you be healthier like Steve? ** _

I want to eat

_ **Go ahead nobody is stopping you, we’re just telling you facts. ** _

_ **Don’t blame us when you begin to feel bloated.** _

As soon as the voice said that a plate of pancakes was placed across from her and someone sat down. When she looked up, she almost choked on her saliva. Across from her was Natasha. Even though Steve had said that Natasha went on a run you could barely tell. Natasha started to eat and gazed at what Wanda was wearing.

“Did you just wake up?”

Wanda just blinked and then realized that she hadn’t changed out of her sleeping clothes which was just booty shorts and a tank top.

“Um kinda, Clint came to wake me up and dragged me out my room before I had a chance to change”

Natasha looked over at Wanda’s body again before meeting her eyes.

“Well we need train. After I’m done, we’ll go downstairs and continue sparring”

_ **She’s saying that you need to lose weight. ** _

_ **You should’ve changed before you came out. ** _

_ **Now Natasha can see how fat you really look. ** _

Wanda glanced down and felt like she was going to vomit. She got up and left the kitchen while saying a quick “see you later” to Natasha. Natasha just sat in her chair watching the spot where Wanda used to be.

“Did I say something wrong?”

~~~~~

Wanda slammed the door to her room. Immediately she went to the bathroom. She reached under the sink cabinet and took out a weight scale. As she stepped on it she closed her eyes not wanting to see the number.

_**Take a peek.** _

_ **You need to LOOK! ** _

For once in her life she did what they said. When she saw the number, she felt her heart rate speed up.

_128?! _

_No, it can’t be! It’s only been 2 months. I gained 8 pounds! _

When Wanda had first joined, she weighed approximately 120. She basically gained 4 pounds each month.

_ **See we told you, you were fat. ** _

_ **What are you going to do now? ** _

_ **If this keeps going, you’ll be obese in 2 more months. ** _

Wanda didn’t know what to do, but all she knew is that she didn’t want to gain more weight.

_ **The toilet is right there. ** _

_ **All you have to do is use your fingers ** _

Wanda went to sit in front the toilet and just stared.

_I can’t do this _

_ **Do you want to gain weight? ** _

_No but- _

_ **Then what are you waiting for? ** _

_No one said anything to me _

_ **They were just being nice. ** _

_ **Did you see the way Natasha was looking at you? ** _

_I just don’t like the idea of using my fingers to vomit _

_**Then find a way!** _

Wanda was sweating but felt cold at the same time. She fell against the bathroom wall and looked up at the ceiling. If she didn’t lose this weight soon then she won’t know what to do. She needs to find a fast way to lose weight. Reaching for her phone next to her she unlocked it and searched up ways to vomit. As she searched, she found that most people use their fingers.

Wanda didn’t really see how that could feel good. They probably don’t care, too desperate to lose weight. She wanted to lose weight fast but at the same time didn’t. But the voices in her head are starting to win. She doesn’t know how long she was sitting in the bathroom floor but she found something. Drinking warm salt water.

On the page she was on it said drinking warm water mixed with salt would help lose water weight. The amount lost would be 4.5 kg which is 9 pounds. Exactly what she needs and she’ll even lose one more pound than what she intends. Wanda got up to get salt from the kitchen, yet as soon as she stepped out of her bathroom, she sensed a person coming to her room in fast steps. More preferably the Black Widow. She quickly looked at her phone and saw that she was 24 minutes late to her training session with Natasha. _Shit. _

Then she heard a knock at her door.

“Wanda are you in there?”

To be honest she didn’t want to open the door to the older woman. She was still sweating and was cold but not as much. She hopes that Natasha doesn’t notice.

“I swear if you don’t open the door I’m going to- “

Natasha didn’t get to finish; at that moment Wanda decided to open the door. Natasha was glaring at Wanda but she didn’t see because she was looking down at the floor. Though she didn’t need to see, she could feel the glare.

“Why weren’t you downstairs?”

“Sorry lost track of time”

Natasha was going to respond but noticed that something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?"

_Fuck of course she’s going to notice. _

“Nothing I just lost track of time”

She lifted her face to look at Natasha as she said this. Well more like look down. After all there was 3 inches of difference. It wasn’t much but Wanda found it adorable that the Black Widow was smaller than her. Yet she could kill any man she wanted.

Natasha’s glare disappeared once she was able to really see Wanda. The woman in front of her was sweating. It wasn’t much but since she was in front of her she could see it clearly. She raised her hand towards her forehead to check if Wanda but was met with a cold feeling.

“Wanda you’re cold!”

As soon as Natasha said that Wanda slapped her hand away.

“I said I lost track of time” Wanda answered more roughly.

She just wanted the other woman to let this go.

“You’re clearly not. Do you need to go see- “

“Natasha, I’m fine. Can we just go train?!”

Natasha stood there dumbfounded. Had Wanda just yelled at her?

“No today we’re not if you’re going to be acting like this. I can’t be worrying about you during training and making sure you don’t faint”

_ **She’s calling you weak Wanda. ** _

_ **She’s treating you like a kid. ** _

“I never asked for you to worry about me.”

Wanda stared at Natasha straight in the eyes as she said this. Natasha stared right back. Nobody moved for seconds. The one to back down was surprisingly the Black Widow. She sighed as she left.

“Alright if that’s what you want. I’ll see you downstairs in 10. Please don’t be late”

Wanda closed the door and began to change into something appropriate.

_ **Wow, you impressed us for once. ** _

_ **Standing up to the Black Widow like that. ** _

_ **Putting her in her place and- ** _

“SHUT UP!”

For once the voices didn’t answer back. Wanda felt something in her but didn’t think much of it. Once she finished changing, she went towards the elevator and pressed the floor Natasha was at. Wanda didn’t know how to feel. She pushed the woman she liked away. All Natasha wanted to do was make sure she was okay. Even if she hadn’t it wouldn’t matter. Natasha wouldn’t ever date a monster like her. After all who would want to deal with the monster who heard voices. The elevator opened and she stepped out.

_Sometimes I can barely stand myself_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed. This is my first time writing this pair. I'll try to update as much as I can!


End file.
